The first days – Victory or Defeat ? So it begins..

Finally managed to get the background all done and posted. So today begins the logging of days that I have the victory. Dear Lord, let the days become weeks, and weeks become months, and months become years that become complete !

I’m gonna do this checklist style so that I can review exactly what areas were good or bad, so here are the questions;

  1. Did I have any sexual fantasy the night before until now ?
  2. Did I look at any pornographic material the night before until now ?
  3. Did I masturbate the night before until now ?

Since I started this blog, dating back to 7th January til the 13th…

Yes to Q1, no to Q2&3

January 14th

Yes to Q2 and Q3, no to Q1.

January 15th

No to all. Really wanted to…

January 16th

Yes to Q3, no to Q1&2

January 17th

No to all. Kept thinking about the relationships though.

January 18th

No to all. Kept thinking about the above again.

January 19

A partial yes to Q1 ? Imagined kissing her, BUT it was just kissing her, nothing below the neckline…

January 20

Yes to 1 & 3. Somehow I had allowed the fantasies to start staying in my head. I don’t know if it was because the sexual desire was so strong that I conned myself into allowing fantasies, or that I that the fantasies allowed for the desires to come about… There was a like 2 nude scenes in this movie I was watching, “Blade Runner”. They were like only a couple of seconds and were really about a girl getting stabbed by the big bad guy. I didn’t even know they had such scenes. It was just a random movie that was pretty new and I just wanted to watch something. But as soon as I saw that scene, that was it…

So yea, not really getting anywhere… yet …

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